Attitude Of Mother-In-Law Towards Daughter-In-Law As A Determinant Factor In Marital Stability
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Attitude Of Mother-In-Law Towards Daughter-In-Law As A Determinant Factor In Marital Stability
ABSTRACT
This was an attempt to investigate the mother-in-law’s attitude towards daughter-in-law as a determinant factor in marital stability. To carry out this study, a questionnaire on the attitude of mother-in-law towards daughters-in-law as a determinant of marital stability (QAMDDMS) was developed, and percentage, mean, and chi-square at the 0.05 level of significance were used to test the hypotheses.
The study’s findings indicate that the communication patterns of daughters-in-law from various cultural backgrounds, as well as the communication and attitude of daughters-in-law from various educational backgrounds and socioeconomic backgrounds, all have a significant impact on the attitude of daughters-in-law towards their mothers-in-law.
The study’s policy and practice implications are as follows: spouses and families should be informed of individual differences prior to marriage, or the marriage may fail.
The study emphasised the importance of further research into the gender of teachers, as well as the efficacy and teaching methods that influence student achievement.
Chapter one
INTRODUCTION
1.1 Background for the Study
Marriage is the legal union between a husband and a wife (Hornby, 2007). It is the process by which a man and a woman agree to enter into a life contract, mostly for the purpose of procreation and personal development.
Marriage is also an agreement between two families to join their offspring as husband and wife, as the African saying goes: you marry a family, not a person. Marriage and family are inextricably linked. When two people choose to marry, they also opt to integrate their families (Lau, 2005).
Marriage, from a sociological standpoint, is about integrating two families. Following marriage, her and his families will most likely be referred to as “our folks” together. This is the intended meaning of marriage. In practice, a brother-in-law is treated like a brother, a sister-in-law as a sister, and a mother-in-law as one’s own mother (Byng-Hall, 2008).
The US Bureau of the Census (2006) defines a family as “a group of two or more people (one of whom is the householder) who are related by birth, marriage, or adoption and live together.” This is due to the importance of familial bonds in society. In fact, no society has existed without some form of social organisation.
Family ties are never fixed; they evolve as the self and the relevance of other family members age, and as society influences their respective lives (Riley, 2008).
According to family experts, the most difficult connection is usually between the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law. Conflicts between women and their mothers-in-law are not unavoidable.
They require an arena for reproduction, same as germs and viruses do (Lau, 2005). The woman and her mother-in-law must first establish a shared location where they can communicate constantly.
If the woman and her mother-in-law never meet and each lives her own life, there should be no problem between them because they have no touch. No contact means no conflict. It’s that simple. It is equivalent to claiming that if there were no marriages, there would be no divorces (Philips, 2005).
“Unless you play badminton or tennis like a chimp, you are unlikely to collide with your opponent. This is because you each have your own court. When you play a game like squash, however, you must be very careful not to crash into your opponent or bash his head with your racquet. Lau, 2005.
The interaction between the wife and her mother-in-law is analogous to the game of squash, in which both players have numerous opportunities to make contact and collide (Silverstein, 2012).
When intergenerational conflicts arise, they usually include the woman and her mother-in-law. In fact, in-law conflict has been characterised as a “female problem,” possibly because women have traditionally been responsible for sustaining family relations (Marotz-Baden and Cowan, 2007).
Fischer (2008) discovered that after giving delivery, wives often turn to their own mothers for aid. They may, however, see their mother-in-law’s interest for her new grandchild as “interference”.
The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law deadlock has never yielded positive results, splitting women who have much in common and could benefit from each other’s companionship. It causes significant unhappiness for the mother-in-law
who thinks her attempts at friendship are turned down, and who fears their relationship with their son and grandchildren may be jeopardised by the daughter-in-law’s animosity.
It produces pain for the daughter-in-law, who feels scrutinised and pressured, especially regarding her role as a woman in the family (Apter, 2011).
Interpersonal communication is a fundamental aspect of human existence. Furthermore, interpersonal skills are extremely important for adjustment because they might determine one’s happiness and success in life.
There is a need to be conscious that communication is critical between mother and daughter-in-law, and it can be effective or ineffective depending on what happens between the speaker and the hearer, thus care should be made not to have poor communication (Byng-Hall, 2008).
Simmel (1955) made another significant observation, emphasising that both conflict and cooperation are ways humans interact with one another. When the wife and mother-in-law disagree, it should not cause a schism if they communicate effectively. If information is given between the two ladies as needed, the wife will gain a better awareness of herself, which will lead to a more positive attitude towards her mother-in-law.
1.2 Statement of the Problem
Strained relationships are common in many extended families, to the point where daughter-in-laws frequently wish that they do not have mothers-in-law, or that they do not want those who live with them.
This is frequently due to the disruption that mothers-in-law cause in the normal operation of the family. According to Ilumoye (2011), many households have been broken due to family (mother-in-law) intervention in marriage.
A question that arises is why daughters-in-law are so sensitive to what they perceive as failures in their mother-in-law’s appreciation of them. The solution may be found in the high expectations people place on the response of a mother figure.
Indeed, daughters-in-law’s touchiness or sensitivity to a mother-in-law’s behaviour is similar to that of a teenager towards her mother (Apter, 2010). Many difficulties arise in the larger framework of the work/family problem, which is ingrained in so many of these women’s lives.
The modern couple sees marriage as the union of two people: the husband and the wife. This appears to be the modern perception of marriage. When a modern couple marries, they frequently forget that the relationship has begun not just between the two of them, but also between the husband’s family, no matter how huge, and the wife’s family, no matter how vast.
Problems develop as a result of this modern, but greatly erroneous, conception of marriage, which holds that in-laws play little roles. Thus, brothers-in-law are not treated as brothers, sisters-in-law are not considered as sisters, and mothers-in-law are not recognised as mothers. When this happens, the relationship has started on the wrong foot (Duval, 2004).
1.3 Aim of the Study
The primary goal of this study is to look into the attitudes of mothers-in-law towards daughters-in-law as a predictor of marital stability in chosen households in the Lagos metropolis. Specifically, the study will strive to:
i. Determine the role of efficient communication in the attitude of mothers-in-law towards their daughters-in-law.
ii. Discuss the impact of ineffective communication between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws on marital stability.
iii. Make recommendations to strengthen marital stability.
1.4 Research Questions.
To provide direction for this investigation, the following questions are asked.
i. To what extent does communication style influence daughters-in-laws’ attitudes towards their mothers-in-law?
ii. Is there a difference in the attitude and communication of daughter-in-laws from various cultural backgrounds towards their mothers-in-law?
iii. Do married women with diverse educational backgrounds differ in their communication and attitudes towards their mother-in-law?
iii. Is there a difference in the attitudes of daughters-in-law towards their mothers-in-law based on socioeconomic background?
1.5 Research Hypotheses.
The following null hypotheses were developed to guide the investigation.
1. Daughters-in-law’s communication techniques will have little influence on her attitude towards her mother-in-laws.
2. Communication patterns of daughters-in-law from various cultural backgrounds will not have a substantial impact on their attitude towards their mother-in law.
3. There will be no substantial variation in the communication and attitude of daughters-in-law from various educational backgrounds towards their mothers-in-law.
4. Socioeconomic background has no substantial effect on daughters-in-law’s attitudes towards their mothers-in-law.
1.6 Significance of the Study
This study is significant because it will be valuable to a large number of people. Such as:
Married ladies who are having problems with their mothers-in-law can benefit from this study since it will expose them to other people’s experiences and provide insight into how to solve their own problems.
This study will help married men who must constantly mediate between their mother and wife find a solution to their troubles.
Mother-in-laws who have been in constant disagreement with their daughters-in-law will be able to use this study to reconcile their differences.
Marriage counsellors, psychologists, and clergymen will benefit from this work because they give both pre-marital and post-marital counselling to engaged couples and couples.
This study will also benefit society as a whole since it will increase people’s understanding of potential conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and propose a solution.
It will also be valuable to future scholars in similar fields.
1.7 Scope of Study
This survey will be conducted among married women in Lagos State. It will investigate the attitudes of mother-in-laws towards daughter-in-laws as a determinant of marital stability. The study’s shortcoming is that it does not include unmarried women and men from Lagos State.
1.9 Definition of Terms.
The terms used in the study are defined as follows:
Attitude is defined as a general mood or view towards something. It is a bodily stance that might be conscious or unconscious, particularly when engaging with people. It could also be described as arrogant or forceful behaviour taken as a challenge or for impact.
Mother-in-law: the mother of a spouse.
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