EFFECTS OF PARENT CHILD ATTACHMENT ON LOVE LANGUAGE IN EARLY ADULTHOODEFFECTS OF PARENT CHILD ATTACHMENT ON LOVE LANGUAGE IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1. BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY

Some parents claim that love involves giving their children clothing and presents, while lacking the sentimental aspect of love connected with communicating their thoughts and feelings to their children (Chapman, 2017). The moral fulfillment of affection and kindness that can be achieved from a healthy parent child attachment, where parents can fulfill the emotional needs of her children in order to make them feel secure and happy, is one of the most significant needs that a child needs to improve his or her personality (Chapman, 2017)

Raising children relies on the bond of affection between these children and their parents, the child who feels loved will produce the desired outcomes (Nichole & Denise, 2006). Naturally, parents love their kids, but sometimes kids may not feel loved because parents struggle to express their love to their kids via a good parent child connection. (Chapman, 2017; Deborah, 2018). Usually, it is easy for their parents to fulfill the basic needs of infants, but physical needs are not the only essential needs for children. (Chapman, 2017; Dainton, 2018). The use of love languages by parents with their children does not mean that in the future these children would not revolt against their parents, but the use of love languages by parents with their children means that these children would feel loved and it will strengthen their feelings of hope and protection there by increasing the level of parent child attachment. (Chapman,2017; Backett, 2013).Having kids feel loved will continue to raise them to be responsible people. The attachment between parents and their children is the core of marriage. When parents speak the language of the child’s affection, they fill their emotional reserve of affection (Brannen& Moss 2015).Compared with children who do not feel loved, children who feel loved will react better to parental control and refinement.

Parents need to strengthen their attachment with their young people, and parents need to learn about the languages of love and the most popular language they use with their children. (Chodorow, 2013; Chodorow, 2011).Parent child attachment, though, can be strengthened by love well conveyed using more than one language of love (Dainton, 2018; Chapman, 2017). The children would feel loved through the use of different types of love languages (Chapman, 2017).To strengthen their contact with their children, parents need to learn about the various forms of language of love. Parents need to read about the primary form of languages of love they use with their children and the variables that will impair their use of the various forms of languages of love with their children.

Attachment is an evolutionary term that determines a particular human social relationship and affects life-span development (Bowlby, 2013/2014).Many practitioners are very content with their understanding of attachment and find no point in clarifying or expanding it. According to Hadadian et al. (2014) one survey of infant mental health professionals revealed a propensity for concentrating on the complicated behavior and adaptation challenges of infants, failing to recognize that attachment insecurity probably led to the same issues they were attempting to help parents handle.The principle of attachment has long been the main philosophical construct that emphasizes the importance of interactions with others (Ainsworth, 2011; Bowlby, 2015).The role of parent-child attachment to the psychological growth and social functioning of children has gained growing attention in recent years.

Love in all its manifestations helps to strengthen attachment bound between parents and children, whether for children, parents, friends or romantic partners, gives depth to human relationships. Love is definitely something more than a close friendship and something different from merely being romantically or sexually interested in another person. Sternberg (2018) said that love is a story, lovers are its authors, and the kind of story they make up reflects their personalities and their feelings about their relationships. According to Baron and Byrne, love is a combination of emotions, cognitions and behaviors that often play a crucial role in intimate relationships.

In the context of heartbreak and divorce, in the brutality of wives and the abandonment of children, there are victims of love. Loneliness lies at the core of such conditions as anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, and drug dependence, while not diagnostically classified(Booth, 2011; McWhirter, 2010). Most respondents reported relationship conflicts or losses when asked to explain negative experiences or things that have gone wrong in life(Veroff, Douvan&Kukla, 2016).Most of the forms in which the study of love was legitimized by scholars were to highlight the issues resulting from its absence and to recognize causes that helped to discourage them. Contemporary theorists view the potential to love and to be loved as an intrinsically human propensity with strong impacts on well-being from childhood through old age.Harris Reis and Shelly Gable (2013) conclude that Healthy relations with others, through diverse ages and backgrounds, can be the single most significant source of life satisfaction and mental well-being(Berscheid& Reis, 2018; Klinger, 2016). They were of the belief that being in love gives a feeling of very fast extension of self-limit and are thus a very fun state of being.

Raising children with affection through the parent child attachment will assist them in their journey of relational reconciliation. Raising children with love through parent child attachment will help them to respond appropriately to their various and sudden states of emotions. Raising children through a healthy parent child attachment will teach children how to display stable responses to multiple feelings that the child normally faces, such as love, envy, rage, anxiety and depression.In terms of being bold or afraid, selfish or constructive, a person who loves to dominate others or a person who loves to collaborate and communicate with others, and a person who welcomes criticism or a person who is continuously nervous and stressed, the social and emotional maturity of a developing adult can decide the traits of his or her potential personality.

In dealing with children between the ages of early adulthood, parents should be very careful where this period of age is a very vulnerable stage of development, where this stage is known as the most crucial stage in the lives of children.Children of these will start studying moral principles, using their creativity and forming their thoughts. Richards, (2013), Verheyen, (2015), Lupton, and Barclay (2013), and Ribbens, (2011), it was stated that children’s feelings between these ages would overtake their rationality, where children would be spontaneous and have a turbulent mood at this stage. Furthermore, children will develop complicated emotions at this level of age, such as a sense of deficiency and shame, rage and terror, envy and jealousy. These feelings are children’s involuntary responses to communicate their frustrating feelings that they hide and deny at the same time.

1.2 PROBLEM OF THE STUDY

Changes in lifestyle and the effects of technological developments have contributed to an increase in social distance and limitations in the expression of personal feelings in society, especially between parents and children, where people become cold-hearted and feel-free in their relationships. In order to communicate their feelings and reinforce their bond with their children, often parents are not given sufficient guidance. Children today could not have had a lot of physical contact from their fathers compared to the older generations, where fathers now work for long hours and come home tired.

Research findings have found that children who have a close bond to parents have a much stronger relationship with their teachers or relatives, who have received love, tenderness, closeness, and physical contact. Social and emotional progress relative to those who are robbed of such types of affection (McMahon, 2018; Ribbens, 2011).In addition, during their early adulthood, the attitudes and personality traits of adult, adults are closely correlated with their interactions. Good kids have good thoughts, strong skills in self-confidence, agile attitude, and ambitious ability. Therefore the research centers on effect of child parent attachment on love language in early adulthood

1. OBJECTIVE OF THE STUDY

In line with the statement of research problems the objectives of the study are to determinethe effect of parent child attachment on love language in early adulthood. The objectives therefore are:

1) To examine the various types of parent child attachment

2) To examine the love languages used by parents

3) To examine the effect of parent child attachment on love language in early adulthood.

4) To Examine the Barriers and constraint to a good parent child attachment during period of early adulthood

5) To recommend ways of improving a poor parent child attachment during early adulthood

1.4     RESEARCH QUESTIONS

1)What are the various types of parent child attachment?

2) What are the love languages used by parents?

3) What is the effect of parent child attachment on love language in early adulthood?

4) What are the Barriers and constraint to a good parent child attachment during period of early adulthood?

5) What are ways of improving a poor parent child attachment during early adulthood?

1.5     HYPOTHESIS OF THE STUDY

In line with the statement of research problems and the objectives of this thesis, the following hypothesis will be tested:

HO: Parent child attachment has no significant effect on love language in early Adulthood

H1: Parent child attachment has a significant effect on love language in early Adulthood

1.6 SIGNIFICANCE OF STUDY

This study would enable the researcher to pass their experience on the subject matter to parents,emerging young adults, NGOS (orphanage homes), schools (students)to serve as a medium for further research.

1.7   SCOPE OF THE STUDY   

The study would cover the parent child attachment on love language in early adulthood. The study would encompass parents, emerging adults, Households etc.

1.8 LIMITATION OF THE STUDY

The researcher was faced with the following constraints in carrying out this study:

Time: The time within the researcher is too short to carry on the detail study on this topic.

Resources: Another constraint of the researcher is financial resources to carry on the detail study of this topic.

Data: Another limitation to this study will be lack of data to make valid study on the research problem.

1.9OPREATIONAL DEFINITION OF TERMS

PARENT CHILD ATTACHMENT:Attachment is one specific aspect of the relationship between a child and a parent with its purpose being to make a child safe, secure and protected. In addition, a description is provided for the four major types of infant-parent attachment, ie, secure, insecure-avoidant, insecure-resistant and insecure-disorganized.

EARLY ADULTHOOD:Early adulthood is the period of development between the ages of 19 and 45. During this stage the individual will reach physical maturity. A time when physical strength and stamina reaches its peak.