Sources Of Dispute Between Mothers And Daughters In-Law: Implication For Counselling
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Sources Of Dispute Between Mothers And Daughters In-Law: Implication For Counselling
Abstract
This study focused on the sources of conflict between mothers and daughters-in-law and the implications for counselling. The study’s entire population consists of 200 selected people of Uyo. The researcher employed questionnaires to collect data.
The descriptive survey research design was used for this investigation. The survey included 133 respondents who were government servants, married men, married women, and daughter-in-law. The acquired data was organised into tables and analysed using simple percentages and frequencies.
Chapter one
Introduction
1.1 Background of the Study
Violence is a regrettable component of human social existence (Fein, 1999). Violence, in whatever shape it takes, is unavoidable in man’s daily activities and interactions, as social study has demonstrated. Anthropological data from the pre-state era to the present day shows that human aggression and cruelty to other humans and/or animals have existed for a long time and appear to be the norm rather than an aberration.
Violence appears to be an issue that no rational human being should desire; an issue that many abhor and try desperately to prevent; however, its frequency and rate of occurrence since the pre-historic period suggest that human beings, by nature, are not completely peaceful, and that human social relationships cannot be completely free of violence. Interpersonal Relationships
Several elements, including biological, psychological, and sociological ones, have been identified as causes of violence in the literature. Domestic violence, however, is the most common kind of violence worldwide, despite the fact that the actors involved are relatives (either by affinity or consanguinity), know one another, and frequently live together or have lived together at some point in the past (WHO, 2008).
According to social research findings, domestic violence is a global phenomena that only differs in patterns and trends across different civilisations (UNFPA, 1999; UNICEF, 2000; 2005). Interpersonal Relationships
According to research findings, domestic violence is a type of violence that crosses cultural, racial, religious, age, education, social class, and family borders. Interpersonal Relationships
It happens when a family member, partner, or ex-partner tries to physically or mentally dominate or hurt the other person. Physical aggression, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation, and threats of violence are some of the manifestations of the condition.
Domestic violence is recognised as the most common yet relatively concealed and overlooked kind of abuse, particularly against women and girls. The majority of home violence incidents go unreported, making it difficult to assess the full scope of the problem. Interpersonal Relationships
When intergenerational conflicts arise, they usually include the woman and her mother-in-law. In fact, in-law conflict has been characterised as a “female problem,” possibly because women have traditionally been responsible for sustaining family relations (Marotz-Baden and Cowan, 2007).
Fischer (2008) discovered that after giving delivery, wives often turn to their own mothers for aid. They may, however, see their mother-in-law’s interest for her new grandchild as “interference”.
The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law deadlock has never yielded positive results, splitting women who have much in common and could benefit from each other’s companionship.
It causes significant unhappiness for the mother-in-law, who thinks her attempts at friendship are turned down, and who fears their relationship with their son and grandchildren may be jeopardised by the daughter-in-law’s animosity.
It produces pain for the daughter-in-law, who feels scrutinised and pressured, especially regarding her role as a woman in the family (Apter, 2011).
Interpersonal communication is a fundamental aspect of human existence. Furthermore, interpersonal skills are extremely important for adjustment because they might determine one’s happiness and success in life.
There is a need to be conscious that communication is critical between mother and daughter-in-law, and it can be effective or ineffective depending on what happens between the speaker and the hearer, thus care should be made not to have poor communication (Byng-Hall, 2008).
Simmel (1955) made another significant observation, emphasising that both conflict and cooperation are ways humans interact with one another. When the wife and mother-in-law disagree, it should not cause a schism if they communicate effectively.
If information is given between the two ladies as needed, the wife will gain a better awareness of herself, which will lead to a more positive attitude towards her mother-in-law.
1.2 Statement of the Problem
Strained relationships are common in many extended families, to the point where daughter-in-laws frequently hope that they do not have mothers-in-law or do not want those who will live with them.
This is frequently due to the disruption that mothers-in-law cause in the normal operation of the family. According to Ilumoye (2011), many households have been broken due to family (mother-in-law) intervention in marriage.
A question that arises is why daughters-in-law are so sensitive to what they perceive as failures in their mother-in-law’s appreciation of them. The solution may be found in the high expectations people place on the response of a mother figure.
Indeed, daughters-in-law’s touchiness or sensitivity to a mother-in-law’s behaviour is similar to that of a teenager towards her mother (Apter, 2010). Many difficulties arise in the larger framework of the work/family problem, which is ingrained in so many of these women’s lives.
The modern couple sees marriage as the union of two people: the husband and the wife. This appears to be the modern perception of marriage. When a modern couple marries, they frequently forget that the relationship has begun not just between the two of them, but also between the husband’s family, no matter how huge, and the wife’s family, no matter how vast.
Problems develop as a result of this modern, but greatly erroneous, conception of marriage, which holds that in-laws play little roles. Thus, brothers-in-law are not treated as brothers, sisters-in-law are not considered as sisters, and mothers-in-law are not recognised as mothers. When this happens, the relationship has started on the wrong foot (Duval, 2004).
1.3 Goal of the Study
The study’s aims are:
To determine the role of effective communication on the attitude of mothers-in-law towards their daughters.The study aims to explore the impact of inadequate communication between mother-in-laws and daughters-in-law on marital stability, as well as the relationship between mother-daughter relationships and daughters’ self-esteem and life happiness.
Research Hypotheses
To ensure the study’s success, the researcher developed the following research hypotheses:
H0: Effective communication plays no role in mothers-in-law’s attitudes towards their daughters-in-law.
H1: Effective communication influences mothers-in-law’s attitudes towards their daughters-in-law.
H02: There is no association between the mother-daughter relationship and the daughters’ well-being in terms of self-esteem and life satisfaction.
H2: there is a relation between the mother-daughter relationship and the daughters’ well-being in terms of self-esteem and life satisfaction.
Significance of the Study
This study is significant because it will be valuable to a large number of people. Such as:
Married ladies who are having problems with their mothers-in-law can benefit from this study since it will expose them to other people’s experiences and provide insight into how to solve their own problems.
This study will help married men who must constantly mediate between their mother and wife find a solution to their troubles.
Mother-in-laws who have been in constant disagreement with their daughters-in-law will be able to use this study to reconcile their differences.
Marriage counsellors, psychologists, and clergymen will benefit from this work because they give both pre-marital and post-marital counselling to engaged couples and couples.
This study will also benefit society as a whole since it will increase people’s understanding of potential conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and propose a solution.
It will also be valuable to future scholars in similar fields.
Scope and limitations of the study
The study’s focus includes sources of conflict between mothers and daughters-in-law, as well as the implications for counselling. The researcher faces various constraints that limit the scope of the investigation;
a) AVAILABILITY OF RESEARCH MATERIAL: The researcher has insufficient research material, which limits the investigation.
b) TIME: The study’s time frame does not allow for broader coverage because the researcher must balance other academic activities and examinations with the study.
Financial constraints- Insufficient funds tend to restrict the researcher’s efficiency in accessing relevant resources, literature, or information, as well as in data collecting (internet, questionnaire, and interview).
1.7 Definition of Terms
Attitude is defined as a general mood or view towards something. It is a bodily stance that might be conscious or unconscious, particularly when engaging with people. It could also be described as arrogant or forceful behaviour taken as a challenge or for impact.
Mother-in-law: the mother of a spouse.
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